I’ve been feeling weird these past few weeks. The feeling just won’t go away! No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try to put it aside, it won’t fucking leave me.

Two months ago, I saw him. The saddest eyes I’ve ever seen. And then I fell in love. Well, not really. But I like him. I’ve liked him since second year.. I really really wanted to be his friend ever since I saw him and heard good and cool things about him. I am 200% sure that I wanna be part of his life. My friends really don’t approve at first on me liking him, but they told me that as long as it makes me happy and inspired, I can keep these feelings.

He makes me smile all day without even trying. Not that we talk a lot. But relate to this, just remembering us talking makes me feel cozy inside.
But it saddens me to say what we both knew was true.. I like him but he loves someone else. I would never want to confess how I feel, and the pain, I tell you, is undefinable.. I know we can go far, but it isn’t mutual.

I tried liking someone else just to forget him.. but it won’t work. Seeing him makes me inconsistent on liking the other person!!! It weakens the idea of me falling for some other boy. It’s really hard ignoring him every time he walk past me. He is soooooooo attractive and I really really wanna talk to him every time I see him. I don’t know the reason why, and I can’t think of other reason aside from his eyes.. but he got me. He caught me off-guard.

I wrote a song for him.. on how I shiver when I think of him.. on how I wish he would like me too.. and on how long I would wait just to be with him.. It was so pathetic on my part but I’m thankful he liked it. I wrote another song last week, but it’s for the other guy that I’m liking (sort of) just to forget him. I am really depressed and angry. I am sooooo pathetic, it makes me sad..

We’re cool. Wish he’ll never find out. I’m falling too fast and there’s no stopping. I just wish he’ll forget about her and fall for me instead. And when he finally realize that its mutual, I’ll quit writing sad songs. :)