I’ve been pretty pissed off on how my life is transforming into some kind of shit I never dreamt of. I feel like I’m getting worse. Bitch. I must say. It feels like I’ve been cheating on myself. On someone. On something.. but never really mean it.

I was way too busy finding the right one to love that I’ve lost myself on the journey.. and so I’m still here.. awaiting a guy so bold as to rescue me.

Love. Fuck love.

Confused and desperate, I asked myself..

“Why him? Why on earth did you choose him?”

And found myself staring blankly at the ceiling.. waiting for an answer. But what the fuck?! I feel like a retard. There’s never an answer..

There’s no answer to such question that is attached to gazillion more questions that seems to be the answer to such question.. Why so complicated? Why am I still hurting? Why do I sound stupid?

BOREDOM.

I will never get use to it. I would always end up finding someone/something to satisfy me. I crave for a happy life. I wanted to be happy.. but never really had a chance.. NEVER GIVEN A CHANCE. FML. Is it too much to ask?

I feel bored most of the time. I find it hard to fall in love again because they are not worth loving (coz they’re too much of a bore).

—-

If you judge people, you have no time to love them.

The more I judge, the less I love.

There’s this one guy that I’ll always love.. I never complained on how he looks. On how he treats me.. on how he do things..

He’s perfect. Well, not really. But I would never ask for more. He fits perfectly in my mind.. and in my heart. That’s why I sound stupid. And act stupid. Fuck Love..

If you love somebody, set them free. If they return, they were always yours. If they don’t, they never were.

He left. But he stayed with me.

I really want him so bad.. so bad that it hurts. Bigtime.

I always want to keep him.. but he never would think twice on leaving.

You see, he loves doing it. I don’t know why. I’m too scared to ask him. Too scared to ask why he still wants to leave when he would always keep on coming back..

I love him. That’s why I can’t help but accept him with arms wide open..

Love should never be forced.

I can’t make you love me if you don’t. Need I say more?

Love doesn’t always end the way we want it to. But it always ends the way it is supposed to. If one love is lost, it only means that another one, sometimes better…sometimes not, but always, another love is waiting for you just around the corner.

But WTF!?!

Love is not the answer. Love is the feeling you’re feeling and the term you cannot understand that’s why you’re reading this. 

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